Pathways

How Life's Challenges Guide Us to Our Destined Purpose

Life is an intricate tapestry of experiences, each thread contributing to the larger picture of who we are and what we are meant to become. It's a journey of discovering our purpose, often guided by the challenges we face and the wisdom we gain from them.

Today, I wanted to write about a reflective exploration of something deeply ingrained in my belief system: the idea that every experience in life leads us to our destined path and purpose. My belief in this concept has not only helped me navigate through adversities and challenges, but has also bestowed upon me a profound understanding and empathy for others. Perhaps an understanding of it may help you too.

We often hear the saying that life is a journey, not a destination. While this statement holds immense wisdom, there's another layer to it—a hidden truth beneath the surface. With each twist and turn, every uphill climb, and even the darkest valleys we cross are part of a grand design, creating the unique elements of us that becomes our life story. Ultimately, who we are, how we feel and the choices we make from past experiences.

Let me share with you a personal story that serves as a testament to this belief.

My paternal father was not in my life from a young age, around 2 or 3 years old is my last memory as a child with him. I did however have a stepfather, Robin. Rob was a well-liked man amongst his peers, although at home, a hard man on his family. He was an alcoholic, and therefore difficult to be around at the best of times.

Despite his alcoholism, he was an extremely hard worker and therefore wasn't home much, but when he was, he was a firm parent. He was demanding on us children as far as chores required, which some would see as unjust to place upon young children. Yet the work we did taught us many practical skills. From chopping wood in the yard to lighting the open fire to keep us warm during winter, cutting lawns and trimming the fence edging to changing a car tyre or fixing a leaking tap—the things we were expected to do and despised at the time were great learning, that would be of great benefit in our later years.

The lessons gleaned from those experiences would go on to shape our characters. The values of hard work, self-reliance, and the importance of maintaining a home were instilled in us during those moments. And whilst not taught in a way I would then go on and teach my children, it certainly gave me insights and opportunity to understand the value in these lessons and be grateful as I grew older. It meant that when my car had a flat tyre, I knew how to change it. When I moved out of home at 15 years old I was able to mow lawns, fix almost anything around the home.

Reflection and Growth

As I grew older, I became to realise just how much of an influence these things had upon me, the choices I would make and ultimately the parent I would then become. I certainly wouldn’t be anything like Robin of course, however, did take the lessons and make them my own, to then be implemented when raising my children and teaching them. Although I chose to do so in a kind, rather than cruel way.  

Life, as we all know, is far from a smooth journey. It often challenges us in unexpected ways, pushing us beyond our comfort zones. These challenges can be bewildering, and at times, excruciating. Yet, when we reflect on the roads we've travelled, we begin to recognise the intricate connection between adversity and growth.

We will all encounter pain and suffering at times, and I believe if we recognise it as part of our learning journey knowing, that in the future this experience will most likely be a guide for ourselves or someone else close to us, we can reduce the time spent feeling that pain or suffering.

The Power Of Challenges

Personally, further experiences I have encountered such as losing a friend through a criminal act, experiencing domestic violence both as a child and an adult, enduring personal health struggles—all of these events could have left me bitter and broken. However, I chose a different path. I chose to look beyond the pain and find meaning in the suffering.

I make a choice each day to recognise that these experiences have allowed me to bring some good into the world. They have allowed me to add value to others’ lives and enrich my own as I was able to have an understanding and compassion toward others who may be experiencing similar unfortunate circumstances and challenges.

These events have empowered me to advocate for change, to volunteer, and use my professional and personal skills to assist organisations in these fields. Never would I have known whilst going through all of this, that I could then turn these experiences and emotions into something great, and powerful.

Transforming Pain Into Pathways

The belief that every challenge in life empowers us, drives us, and ultimately guides us toward our purpose is at the core of who I am. It's a belief that has allowed me to appreciate and be grateful for the tough times. Just as a sculptor moulds a beautiful masterpiece from a rough slab of stone, our challenges mould us into resilient, compassionate, and purpose-driven individuals.

However, we must recognise that it is up to us if we choose this path and direction. We all know that some do choose to remain in a cycle of regret, pain, suffering and harm, which is inflicted towards themselves and an excuse for pain directed upon others.

Therefore recognising and finding some gratitude is important, when the time is right to do so.

Conclusion

As you journey through life, I encourage you to embrace your challenges, for they may very well be the stepping stones leading you toward your destined path. These experiences may bring discomfort and great pain, but please remember, they build our strength and character. Let us try and be grateful for every twist and turn, every challenge, and every triumph. Let's treasure the wisdom that emerges from adversity, and the strength that arises from pain. And may we all find solace in the belief that indeed, every experience in life leads us to our destined path and purpose.

With gratitude for the transformative power of life's challenges,

Rebecca

A Personal Share

As an extension to today’s news, below is a verse that I wrote as part of my stepfather Robins eulogy when he passed many years ago. I thought it may be helpful to share and give some context as to how we can find things to be grateful or thankful for, even when we may have been treated poorly by others.

When I completed the reading of this verse, at the end of the eulogy the entire chapel stood up and applauded. Family friends who knew Robin the violent alcoholic who treated his family with cruelty and abuse cried in disbelief. Distant associates and friends of his parents cried and applauded at the fact he clearly raised a daughter with gratitude. Not knowing of course, the back story, which to be honest they did not need to know.

I hope by sharing, that you can find some reflective elements in this, and perhaps even find some gratitude or wisdom to be thankful for from your own experiences that were painful at the time.

BECAUSE OF YOU

Because of You, I have inner strength. I am the rock for all that I need to be, yet I have the emotion and compassion to feel for others, and the ability to balance it all behind closed doors.

Because of You, I have courage, to stand up for what I believe in and to take the lead when needed and show others right from wrong.

Because of You, I have determination, to keep pushing on and to face any challenge that comes my way.

Because of You, I am a parent with boundaries and rules, firm, yet fair with clear expectations.

Because of You, I know gratitude, and I can say thank you for all that you gave and all that you did.